The Lesson: Don't Try to Impress Your Wife

When I read that Johnny Damon had thrown on 15 pounds of muscle to "impress his wife," I figured he'd hit about 10 more home runs this year, so I took him a few rounds too early in about four fantasy baseball drafts. What happens? He pulls up lame on Opening Day with a right calf strain that immediately had me thinking about star-crossed wide receiver David Boston and the fact that skinny human legs aren't meant to carry around massive torsos at high speeds. And now Damon is probably headed for the DL. Great.

There is some good news though, because according to Damon, his calves are "still sexy." So that is a relief.