Lamest. Suspension. Ever.

To the surprise of no one, the Oakland Raiders' idiotic wide receiver Jerry Porter has been suspended for four games for "conduct detrimental to the team."

When I first heard the news, I rolled my eyes and wondered what Porter had done. Was he caught brandishing a firearm? Did he stage a walkout? Fail a drug test? Given this guy's checkered past, nothing would have surprised me.

Except for the actual "conduct."

It turns out, Porter wondered aloud how long Friday's practice was going to run.

No seriously, that's it. That's what he did to get suspended. Head coach Art Shell overheard the remark and immediately issued the four-game suspension, which you might recall, is what Philly tried to give T.O. last year with the aid of reams and reams of paperwork. I think it is safe to assume that the player's union isn't going to let this one stick. I'll be shocked if he winds up being suspended for four minutes, let alone four games.

When you throw in the fact that by dozens of accounts, Friday's practice was lacking in organization, double the usual length, and "a joke," it is unfathomable that a coach would suspend a player for doing a little whining. I mean, what is this, the Communist NBA?

The actual suspension matters little because Jerry Porter wasn't suiting up for games anyway. The only thing this truly effects is his pocketbook, as he gets paid even when inactive, but not when suspended.

The real story is how archaic and behind the time Art Shell is. His stone face on the sidelines is the biggest running joke in football and the way he is handling this team on and off the field is total amateur hour. He is doing everyone a disservice by coaching an NFL team ... except people betting against the Raiders, of course.

I love sports. So many morons, so much comedy.